Saturday 25 January 2014
Friday 24 January 2014
Monday 20 January 2014
Monday 13 January 2014
Waking Up
An Extract from Liberty Angel by Jennifer Lynch
WAKING
UP
The
sun streamed through the windows and from under the duvet Gemma slowly raised
her head. She could feel the cold air on
the tip of her nose. She surveyed
Louise’s clothes which were piled on the small chest of drawers and hoped that
she’d not crumpled them, fearing another drama! She found her own clothes
strewn across the bare floor boards and she grabbed them as quickly as
possible. There was no sound from Rob who was obviously
still sleeping off a combination of red wine and weed. She slowly tiptoed down the stairs. She didn’t bother about breakfast or a cup of
tea because she just wanted to make a hasty exit. To Gemma’s surprise the door was bolted.
Louise couldn’t have got in even if she tried! She quickly undid the locks and
stood out in the sunshine. The world
looked a different place. It looked like
the small town she recognised instead of a seedy twisted mess of emotions. It was clear in her mind now what she had to
do. She had to cut these people
off. This also meant cutting John off
which she knew would be really difficult for her but she had to do it to save
herself and her children. She really
felt the urge to speak to him to find out what had happened last night, but
decided it would be extremely weak. If
she really couldn’t stand not talking to him by later that week, she would
telephone him instead. Either way, she
was going to try her best to keep her distance.
It would be a lot easier now because she felt angry about Louise. The thought of them both together made her
stomach retch. She hadn’t eaten much for
ages and the emptiness inside her, needed to be filled with toast and
coffee. Perhaps then, she would start to
feel a little more human.
She found her car outside John’s house but
there was no way she was calling on the door to see the result of last night’s
party. She got in to her little blue car
and drove home. She had the rest of the
day to pull herself together. She would
be ready for the girls and she would be smiling. Gemma knew that she was a good mother and she
was determined that from now on her life would be good. She did some tasks around the home and she
decided that she had to go to bed early. She felt absolutely exhausted from the
party and lack of sleep and by eight thirty she was already settled in
bed. She knew that if she did not catch
up with her sleep that she would not be able to cope with the return of the
children and the familiar Monday morning routine. As soon as the children went up to bed, she
knew that she would be going as well.
Gemma woke about 2 a.m. She was covered with sweat and her heart was
racing. She had experienced the strangest dream. It was more vivid than a dream. It was more
like a vision or visitation. She had
travelled through a huge mirror in time.
She had smashed the mirror so that she could step right through to the
other side. She had been given the
opportunity to see much further and more clearly than she’d experienced in her
life before. As Gemma walked through the
mirror, she saw a woman smiling at her and she was made aware that she was in a
cave. It was very dark in the cave but
the woman was pointing to a deep well.
“Don’t you know me Gemma? You came here when
you were ten years old and made a wish in my well. You wished that your mother would be
well. She is well now, isn’t she?” asked
the old woman.
Gemma thought hard,
where was she? Was she awake or in a
dream? There was something very familiar
about the woman but Gemma was finding it very hard to recognise who she
was. She appeared to be friendly enough
and she was trying to tell her something.
The woman was telling the truth she had been to her cave as a child. Gemma’s mother did suffer from a long term
illness. She decided to listen to what she was being told because it seemed
important. Gemma never thought that her
mother was ‘well’ because there was no cure for her medical condition and her
life had changed. Perhaps she was wrong, was it an illusion? Her mother was
happy and she made the best of her limitations.
She had come to terms with her illness. She seemed happy enough and
recently she had discovered how to paint.
Her oil paintings were amazing. She had also adapted to her lack of
mobility. She had found her own magic by
discovering her creativity. Gemma
realised that healing was often more to do with the soul, than the physical
body. The woman told her that the
physical body was just a vessel, part of our journey but the soul is
eternal. There are many ways to be happy
and so many reasons to live. Sometimes, people come to terms with their
limitations and they learn to embrace another part of their life. Perhaps
adapting to the restrictions of ill health and moving into acceptance was part
of the healing process. What is healed? Surrendering to ‘what is possible’ by
developing what you can do, instead of dwelling on the past, is all part of our
healing journey. In essence her mother
was already healed.
Gemma looked into the
deep well. The water looked black. It felt as if time had completely
stopped. She stood exactly where she
made her wish as a ten year old child when she wished her mother would get
well. The water dripped onto her face and the droplets fell as huge tears. She realised that she hadn’t been seeing the
truth about her mother, nor had she been seeing the truth in other situations
in her life. Perhaps she had only been
able to see a very limited version of the truth, not the whole picture. Images
of her life flashed through the deep waters of the well. She observed the illusions which she had
naively created. What was she doing? Why
did she bother being friends with people who were no more than mirrors reflecting
her own negative emotions? She plunged
deep into the water into the depths of her being and saw that the people around
her were mere droplets of water. They
were her teachers, teaching her about herself.
She saw it now. She had attracted
people who were no good for her because of her own negativity. Part of her wanted to stay in the illusion of
helplessness. She wanted to be a victim
and blame everything on her personal circumstances. She didn’t want to take control.
“I can’t look anymore” she told the woman.
“You know the truth Gemma. You must learn
to listen to your heart. You think that the world we live in is real, but most
of what we believe is illusion. Break
free now. Go from these people who are
tricking and fooling you. They can’t
give you anything you haven’t got already,” she smiled at her and then was
gone.
This was madness, why dream about the cave
after all these years? The witch wasn’t
real, she was a spirit. Had she been
speaking to the spirit of this witch? It
sounded mad but then again, she felt comforted.
It was if this woman was looking after her for some reason? Gemma realised that there were so many things
that she didn’t know and one of these things was definitely earth magic. She felt quite extraordinary as if she
existed in many dimensions.
She knew that her
wish had been powerful and it had been granted but until this point, she hadn’t
been able to see the truth. She also
realised that she had spent too much time living in fantasy. She was going to change and she needed to
change fast!
Gemma still felt
tired but she went downstairs to get some breakfast. It felt as if she had experienced a ‘dark
night of the soul’. Many things had been
revealed to her, good and bad. It had
moved her greatly and she vowed that she wouldn’t forget about the profound
experience. She decided that she would
tidy the house today and then go for a walk in the wood. The wood was very close to the house with an
entrance about two hundred metres away.
Gemma loved it. She found that when she was anxious or wanted to lose
herself, the wood was therapeutic. There were so many different paths. She was still looking for new ones she hadn’t
walked along because she wanted to explore.
Sometimes she would get lost and take a wrong turn, but the wood was
small and it you took the wrong turning, invariably she’d come out at a place
which she recognised. She loved the
smell of the bark and the pine, the damp earth under her feet and the sounds of
the birds in the tree tops. The wood
itself was old, but not ancient. She
knew that there were other woods which were far older, if she wanted to travel
by car. Walking around the woods always
made her feel as if she was moving in the right direction and ironically the
wood was called East Field. She decided
that she was not going to waste any more time thinking about John. He could get
on with it! If he wanted women like
Louise, then there were plenty of them around.
Gemma suddenly realised that he was relatively unimportant to her. The desire to run to his house was beginning
to ebb. It was incredible and it was
magic! She had been shown something far
greater. She now knew that she was
capable of looking after herself. It was also nice to know that if she chose
the wrong path, someone would whisper in her ear and help bring her back to her
centre. Gemma breathed deeply. When she
was focused she knew everything went well for her. If she didn’t take the time to meditate her
life soon became chaotic. She knew that
she had to listen to herself because she was determined to make a huge leap
forward in her life, come hell or high water!
Sunday 12 January 2014
Skin Deep by Jennifer Lynch
REBECCA’S BABY
“Just sign the paper,” said the Reverend
Mother.
Rebecca looked at Jane. Her back
was turned she was pretending to be asleep but Rebecca knew that she was crying
as she had adopted that position for the last three days. She
couldn’t eat; she would only drink because the Nuns insisted that unless she
had something soon, she wouldn’t be allowed to go home. They would have to send
for the doctor for another medical examination. They were always
saying you wouldn’t be allowed home. I will just walk out thought
Rebecca but the pains across her abdomen were at times severe and she still
felt weak. Her uterus was still contracting and it was made worse by
the fact that she was being forced to breast feed.
“Are you sure, it is really not such a good idea
for you to bond with the baby we can bottle feed her if you like it might be
easier that way.”
Rebecca fingered her bus ticket. The bus
jolted her from side to side along the country bends. It was an
hour’s journey to the city from the home. She felt as if she was in
the middle of a bad dream, the worst nightmare she could ever have or would
ever experience in her lifetime. Wrapped tightly in a shawl cradled
in her arms and half leaning on her lap was Bridgette. Bridgette,
why did she call her that? It had been a name she wanted to be called herself
but never was. What will happen to little Bridgette after
today? She could feel the warmth from the baby’s body on her lap and
feel her breathing just ever so slightly. Did anyone know why she
was on this bus the number 46 to Westminster and won’t they all wonder what
happened to the baby if they saw her later on. What happened to my
baby but then they’ll think she isn’t mine I was just looking after her today
but they are wrong because she will always be mine, where ever she goes and
whatever happens to her in the future, she will always be mine. We
have a golden cord, which connects us. No one can see it or
feel it, only us but it is there and it can’t be broken. It was
there from the beginning when she first
breathed life into her lungs and it will still be there when her life is
extinguished.
It started to rain gently on the windows. Rebecca
wanted to trace her fingers along the raindrops like she did when she was a
child. Which one would run the fastest, which one would reach the
bottom of the window and what happened to the others? What happened
to the lost raindrops, the ones that got diverted along the way? The
ones that met up with other raindrops and didn’t make it to the bottom just
didn’t make it. Like me thought Rebecca I’m just not going to
make it I am one of the lost raindrops.
Rebecca waited until the bus stopped before she
struggled off with her heavy bag over one shoulder and the baby clasped firmly
to her by the other arm. The huge step off the bus caused her to jolt and for a
few minutes she almost lost her balance. She became aware of how
weak she still was. She had in fact been in St. Catherine's
Maternity Home for nearly two months. She was admitted late being in
full labour. Some girls went in early the ones who were frightened
of going into labour on their own but Rebecca had gone way beyond that stage,
she thought that if she left it until the last minute, perhaps it might not
happen at all, or she would wake up from this nightmare and there was no longer
a baby inside her. Her mind had just been
playing tricks.
The Streets of London were crowded. Dust
flew up into her face and she kept the shawl firmly wrapped around the
baby. She was unable to look at her watch but she guessed it was
about lunchtime as she could see people entering and leaving cafes. Men
in business suits walking rapidly as if they were late back from business
lunches.
“Yes, Madam” said Rebecca
in a small voice.
Mrs. Neave led Rebecca into a largish room with an
old leather sofa. Everything in the room smelt of polish, the sofa,
the walls, which were made of panelled wood and the floor, which was black and
white, tiled and highly glossed. There was a copy of the Times on
the edge of the sofa. Who would read that thought Rebecca at a
time like this and she pushed it to one side?
Read more of Skin Deep on Amazon
Thursday 9 January 2014
Natural Co-Creators Show with Jennifer Lynch
Coming soon ...
Are you a natural creator? Do you have an inspiring message to share? I'm looking
for people who have positive messages for the future. I am keen to hear from therapists,
healers, writers, artists, singers and entertainers who would like to be interviewed for this
new and dynamic show.
Starting 24th January so please get in touch if you are interested. Interviews will be by way of podcasts and can be uploaded and shared via social networking such as facebook, twitter, google plus, pin interest and many more.
Watch this space for updates on the show
Jennifer Lynch
message me via my website
www.angelwisdom.co.uk
Thursday 2 January 2014
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